Okay but what happens if I succeed? I mean, hopefully it means I get a big blonde beefcake of my own, but what else?

[ She picks up her phone and sees that Natasha has started a group message with her and Steve, and well, maybe he'll actually like her. Or turn her down flat. She'll have to see. ]

Hi! I promise that I will do my very best to secretly turn you red. But no one actually needs to know.

[ Dutifully, Darcy removes Natasha from the thread, just in case she forgets. ]