One day, the universe is going to stop throwing Natasha curve balls. But it doesn't seem likely to happen any time soon.
Even though she has what she likes to think of as a world class poker face, it takes every ounce of her training to keep her expression neutral when she realized that the Winter Soldier is not only James - her James - but also Steve's best friend that he lost in the war. It's an awfully small world.
After settling their score with SHIELD and HYDRA, Natasha had shared some of their history with Steve. Some of it. She could tell he was hungry for more, but not all of it was her story to tell. He deserves the opportunity to share what he wants of the bad parts. But she can at least tell Steve that there were times that they were both improbably happy, together in the Red Room.
So she spends a few weeks shaking off her existential crisis now that her whole history is available for free on the internet, and then sets off to find him. Steve and Sam are doing a decent job, but Natasha works differently than they do. And it's not long before she picks up his trail. Even if she doesn't make contact right away, preferring to study the impressions he's leaving on the world from a distance. It's not that she's delaying, exactly. Except for the fact that she is.
Because she's still mad at him. Not for shooting her in Odessa, or in DC, but for the way he'd sacrificed himself in the Red Room so she could leave. She never wanted that from him. But she has the life she has now because of that sacrifice, and it's not until she convinces herself that he deserves to know that he did some good while he was in the Red Room that she makes her move.
She lets herself into his - well, really sad little apartment - while he's out on an errand. She puts a bag of fries down on the table and then reclines in the rickety chair like it's an armchair, leaning back with her feet up on the table. When she hears him in the door, she holds her hands up so he can see her palms, though she doesn't move out of that relaxed position. Considering how well armed she is, it's the least insulting way she can think of to say 'I'm clearly not here to hurt you.'
"Hey there. Thought you could use something to eat that didn't smell like cabbage."
for daybreak19 - pre-civil war au
Even though she has what she likes to think of as a world class poker face, it takes every ounce of her training to keep her expression neutral when she realized that the Winter Soldier is not only James - her James - but also Steve's best friend that he lost in the war. It's an awfully small world.
After settling their score with SHIELD and HYDRA, Natasha had shared some of their history with Steve. Some of it. She could tell he was hungry for more, but not all of it was her story to tell. He deserves the opportunity to share what he wants of the bad parts. But she can at least tell Steve that there were times that they were both improbably happy, together in the Red Room.
So she spends a few weeks shaking off her existential crisis now that her whole history is available for free on the internet, and then sets off to find him. Steve and Sam are doing a decent job, but Natasha works differently than they do. And it's not long before she picks up his trail. Even if she doesn't make contact right away, preferring to study the impressions he's leaving on the world from a distance. It's not that she's delaying, exactly. Except for the fact that she is.
Because she's still mad at him. Not for shooting her in Odessa, or in DC, but for the way he'd sacrificed himself in the Red Room so she could leave. She never wanted that from him. But she has the life she has now because of that sacrifice, and it's not until she convinces herself that he deserves to know that he did some good while he was in the Red Room that she makes her move.
She lets herself into his - well, really sad little apartment - while he's out on an errand. She puts a bag of fries down on the table and then reclines in the rickety chair like it's an armchair, leaning back with her feet up on the table. When she hears him in the door, she holds her hands up so he can see her palms, though she doesn't move out of that relaxed position. Considering how well armed she is, it's the least insulting way she can think of to say 'I'm clearly not here to hurt you.'
"Hey there. Thought you could use something to eat that didn't smell like cabbage."