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[brushpass]

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[leftcold]

"It's a long way off inviting me now. I'm flattered."

And he is, but he doesn't dwell on it. He doesn't want to make it awkward, or give himself time to feel like the invitation is pity.

"Are you sure Barton is going to be all right with you bringing a plus one?"

[brushpass]

"Figure if I start now you might believe I mean it by the time December rolls around." There's a little bit of a teasing note to the way she says it, light and playful. Just enough to make it clear that she means it, but she's not going to dwell on it. The invitation isn't conditional on anything other than genuinely wanting to make sure he has plans for the holiday.

His question about a plus one does make her chuckle a little. "I was their only babysitter for about ten years. I think they trust my judgment for holiday guests."

[leftcold]

"If you were their only babysitter for ten years, they're probably too grateful to question it." Spoken like someone who did his share of babysitting, once upon a time. He has to believe Barton is grateful.

He also has to believe she's a hell of a good honorary aunt.

"You must like the kids, if you spent that much time with them."

[brushpass]

"I do have unquestionably great judgment." Which is an absolutely falsehood, considering the number of times her plans have involved explosives or throwing herself off of buildings and figuring out a safety net on the way down. But she does make for a great babysitter.

So she just smiles across the table at him, obviously thinking fondly about the Bartons as she does so. "Guess you could say that."

[leftcold]

"You did go out with me. Not sure what that says about your judgment." Either it's bad, or he shouldn't question it. Either way, he figures it's smartest not to say anything too directly.

"If you don't think they'll mind, I'll pencil it in. I just better not get a big brother talk."

[brushpass]

"Best to just trust my judgment," Natasha answers, still amused. She knows that there's a good chance that he's not ready to hear a real, direct compliment. Or even think of himself in a positive light. She doesn't mind coming at it from an angle.

And she can't help but chuckle when he says he better not get a big brother talk. "Nah. The Bartons aren't the ones you have to look out for if you cross me. And you already know that."

[leftcold]

"See, I know you're capable to taking care of yourself and I'm suitably afraid to piss you off, but..." He makes light of it, pausing for a minute. "But I feel like your sister might show up in my apartment uninvited if she decides I didn't treat you right."

[brushpass]

Natasha's brow arches, and the smile that curls her lips is more than a little mischievous. "She's who I meant when I said the Bartons aren't who you have to worry about."

Truth be told, Yelena might just show up in his apartment out of sheer curiosity. Younger sister pestering takes on a whole new dimension when said sister is also a prolific spy and assassin. "Good news is that I usually get a heads up when she comes to New York."

[leftcold]

"That sounds like good news for you." The look on her face, the way it makes her eyes spark, doesn't go unnoticed. "Does that mean I'll get a warning too, or...?"

[brushpass]

Natasha opens her mouth to answer him, but no sound comes out as her eyes shift to look over his shoulder. One brow arches, and she watches as the waiter approaching them stops, nearly drops what he's holding, and then hurriedly moves over to their table. He puts the bread basket down and fills their water glasses, then moves away again without saying anything.

"Weird," she observes, sounding amused.

[leftcold]

Bucky looks over his shoulder, following the waiter away with a frown. "Did I miss something?"

His first suspicion is a threat, but considering Natasha's reaction, that doesn't seem likely.

[brushpass]

Natasha hums thoughtfully, her eyes following the waiter as he moves through the room. It's quiet for a moment before she answers, taking time to assess the surroundings and the waiter's body language.

"He's nervous. Pretty sure he recognized me, could've recognized you too. Awkward nervous, not revenge nervous." One shoulder lifts in a shrug and she smiles across the table at him. It's a weird occupational hazard. "We should eat this really delicious smelling bread and see what he says when he comes back."

In short - likelihood of a threat, low. Likelihood of having an awkward conversation with a man in a dress shirt, high.

[leftcold]

Bucky won't argue about the bread, but he looks over his shoulder again. He doesn't see any signs of a threat. If this was a trap... well, it'd be a really shitty trap. Too many exits. Too many witnesses.

He's so used to assessing that kind of threat, though, he forgot about others.

"If there's paparazzi outside after this, I'm leaving the worst yelp review."

[brushpass]

A really shitty, unnecessarily elaborate trap. Which she wouldn't put past some of the people she's tangoed with over the years. But this just doesn't feel quite like that to her.

While he looks over his shoulder, she takes one of the rolls and uses the knife by her plate to start carefully cutting it in half. His comment is met with a quick glance upward and a smile. "If there's paparazzi outside after this, I'm leaving by the roof. How often are you leaving yelp reviews?" The question somehow sounds a little flirtatious as she asks it, though she gives him an innocent look as she gets some butter on the knife to spread onto her roll.

[leftcold]

"Wouldn't you like to know." He flashes half of a smile, encouraging the humor. Bucky likes that tone from her. "Always check the Yelp reviews. All the real information is there."

[brushpass]

"Yeah, that's why I asked." She doesn't miss a beat, playfully bantering back at him from across the table. She takes a bite of the roll, and there's a pleasantly surprised look on her face. It's good bread - warm and flaky on the outside, soft on the inside. It bodes well for their meal.

"What's the worst Yelp review you've seen?"

[leftcold]

"Depends what we mean by worst. Like worst, the service was awful, or worst the person leaving the review was mad that the parking lot was hot in August?" Because it's an important distinction.

He reaches for the bread himself, the smell prompting him.

[brushpass]

"Oh, definitely that second one," Natasha agrees with a grin. It is an important distinction. And she enjoys a story about how odd people can be. The things they choose to fixate on or complain about. "Someone tried to give me shit once for backing my car into a spot at a to go place." She sounds amused as she reflects on it, pushing the carafe of butter closer to him so he can get some for his roll.

[leftcold]

"The sushi place I like had a long, angry review about how one of the servers was 'too cool' and too many tattoos. Apparently he was more interested in showing off his ink than he was in delivering rolls." Bucky smiles wryly as he says it, going for a very healthy amount of butter. Something has to fuel his metabolism. "I figured if the worst thing you can say about a place serving raw fish is that the wait staff has too many tattoos, it must be good."

[brushpass]

Natasha's got a similar smile as she listens to his story. "Imagine letting tattoos ruin your meal." Maybe if they were really poorly done tattoos, but she still wouldn't be that personally invested in it. "Though I do appreciate that this implies you search for restaurants with weird bad reviews and deliberately go try them."

[leftcold]

"Bad reviews tell you more than good ones. The weirder the better." Look, it's not untrue. He wouldn't have phrased it like that.

But let an old man have his methods.

"Good reviews could be friends, or bots. They're doing everything they can to get those. Can't trust them. But if the weirdest, most unpleasant person you've ever met hates something for a shit reason? Worth checking out."

[brushpass]

She can't help but chuckle a little, watching him as he explains his methods. Honestly, he's not wrong. It's a decent way to sort through the noise, and people on the whole tend to be more likely to post complaints than praise.

"You might be on to something," she admits. "Is the sushi place your best one star review find?"

[leftcold]

"One of them." He takes a bite of bread with objectively too much butter and makes a pleased sound. He munches it down before he answers the question, showing good enough manners not to talk with food in his mouth at least. "There's a diner near my place that got a screed review from an angry tourist because the owner refused to go out and chase off some couple that was making out outside the window in view of her kids. That place has the best milkshakes I've had this century."

[brushpass]

Natasha watches with muted delight as he takes a bite of bread with what she can only think of as a heap of butter on top. She takes another bite of her own roll as she listens, laughing a little at the picture he paints. "Isn't having to watch someone make out outside of a window part of the charm of a diner?" She's only a little bit kidding. "If they're open late, sounds like we might have just found a place for dessert."

[leftcold]

"I'd say the fact the owner knows how to mind her own damn business is a huge part of their charm," Bucky says fondly, both of the diner and his level of butter. He's fairly pleased with both. "They make a good blueberry pie too, if that's your kind of thing."