brushpass | threads

It's then that he moves to set up so he can turn and face her. He reaches out and takes his hands and presses them to her cheeks, holding her face and he presses a kiss to her forehead. "Natalia, you did amazing. You found me now, you are here for me now. It's all I never needed from you okay?" and it's true. He wants to make sure she doesn't have guilt from it.

But they both do, they both probably will for a long time.

"Those memories you told me, that were our first night together, the memories I have all the hints from, I remember you saying we couldn't have real lives in the room. But we have it now. I have to ask though, do you think, was our time together real lives? Or was it just that it was the two of us, that we were just together because of the situation?" He asks all this eyes closed, forehead resting against hers, hands on her cheeks.

Natasha watches as he shifts his position. Her hands run up his forearms and she turns her head to kiss his palm before settling, her forehead leaning against his. There's nothing he can say that will absolve her of the guilt she feels for not finding him sooner. It's hers to carry, the same way she she carries the red in her ledger.

She considers his question for a moment, trying to study his expression from such a close angle. One hand lifts from his arm and comes around so she can curl her fingers gently in his hair at the back. "Our time in the Red Room was the only thing I had that was mine. It kept me going. So it was real for me. What do you think?"

"I think the absolute anger when I read about your friend, and the jealousy, it means I must have loved you more then I even knew possible, I've never been jealous of another man in my whole life, 'Tasha."

He says it honestly and lets a hand slip down from her cheek to wrap around her waist and he leans in to kiss her, because if all this touch, and voice, and feelings were helping with his memories he feels like this is just the right thing to do. To give her a proper kiss after too long of being apart, to feel what it's really like.

It's like heaven. That's the only way he has to describe it.

She can hear the sincerity in his voice, and she can't help but smile a little as she tips her head to return the kiss. Her lips part against his, her fingers trailing down from his hair so she can curl her arm around his shoulder. There's something about it that's somehow both nostalgic and new.

It lingers for a few long moments before she parts her lips from his and lets her forehead lean against his again. "What do you have to be jealous of, hmm?" she murmurs. "Someone that always finds his way back to me no matter what the world throws at him?" No one else ever stood a chance.

"Shhh..." he murmurs against her lips forehead to forehead still, they're crouched on the floor, and it's a little awkward and he doesn't even care. "This is part of that brain cobwebs thing, Natalia, trying to clear it all out and understand..."

He goes back in for another kiss, because she's letting him and it's nice to just, feel things and not have to find words for a bit. He takes it a little deeper, but it's just a kiss, nothing else.

When it breaks he pulls back a little to look at her and asks a question. "Did you really blow me in the Kremlin?"

"Well I'd hate to stand in the way of progress," Natasha quips back at him, all banked humor as she meets him for another kiss. Her hands run over his shoulder and down his back.

Even so, when he pulls back with an unexpected question, she meets him with a look that's undeniably mischievous. "We almost got caught when you came."

"I cannot believe.." he laughs, it's really a lot. Imagining that as he shakes his head up and strokes through her hair fondly grinning stupidly at her. "God, now you're just teasing me about how good you must be at that too..."

He drops his hand and shakes his head before moving to get up. "I gotta stop touching you like that for a bit, you're gonna make my brain do bad things Natasha. I made some soup yesterday would you like some?"

Her mouth curls in a smirk and one shoulder lifts in a shrug as if to say 'I can neither confirm nor deny.' Her hand runs over the back of his forearm as his fingers run through her hair.

"Your brain will go there all on its on, James," she promises with a quiet chuckle as she stands up as well. "Depends. Did you put plums in the soup?"

They spend the evening together, just talking, quietly and sleep wrapped up together, clothed in a bed for the first time in god knows how long. The next morning when they wake it's the first time that Bucky remembers that he hasn't awoken screaming with nightmares in the middle of the night and he tells Natalia that because she deserves to know.

They spend the next days traveling eventually ending up in the next safe house in a beach town she'd set up. It was small, but the town was beautiful. Though they got in late at night he doesn't have the luck not waking from nightmares, but Nat is there, and they get a little easier.

Come morning he's got her tucked against his chest and he's just watching her sleep against him when she finally stirs.

"Good morning, beautiful," He speaks in English for the first time since they've been together.

Natasha's glad to hear that he had a night free from nightmares. She's equally glad that he doesn't try to hide it the next night. It's going to be a long road and she's ready to navigate the bumps with him.

Montpellier feels worlds away from the ghosts in Eastern Europe. The safe house her contact found is a cozy little apartment in an older building, perfectly situation for budget conscious travelers. There's an envelope on the kitchen table with identification and money, and two suitcases with clothes and necessities for them both.

Her cheek rubs against his chest as she stirs awake and she yawns, finally leaning back enough so she can stretch as she makes note of the fact that he spoke in English. And that she evidently slept through him waking up that morning. It's a rare occurrence - she's usually up as soon as she hears other people moving around. "Hey. Were you watching me sleep?"

He smiles down at her, it's soft and warm and he strokes his metal fingers along her shoulders as she looks up at him. He was surprised first, when she had settled on that side of the bed, he would have thought the arm would be a bother, but it never was with her.

"Yeah, you looked really pretty so I thought I'd just watch 'til you got up," he admit leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head where he can reach. "Beach sunset last night had nothin' on you."

His English accent is thick, and a little northeastern and lazy in the morning as he smiles at her.

"How'd you sleep?"

The metal arm is part of him, which means that it could never be a bother to her. She knows that his relationship with that arm is complicated, like many other things in his memory. She figures the best she can do is just be there.

"That really toes the creepy/sweet line, you know," she informs him with a smile, pushing herself a bit further up on the bed so she can return the kiss to the top of her head with one to his jaw. His accent sounds a little different this morning and she wonders what that means about what unlocked in his mind over the course of the night.

"I always sleep good when I'm with you. Want coffee?"

"Coffee is always good," he says ruffling her hair a little bit with his hand. "Are you gonna make me some or should I get up and make it?" the last couple days she's been making him coffee in the morning but he doesn't want her to think that he's incapable and unable to do things for himself.

He gives her side a squeeze fondly and presses his lips together in though. "Was it actually creepy? Should I have woken you?" he asks, he's pretty used to Natasha's teasing at this point but he figured it was worth double checking. He doesn't want to actually be creepy or risk running her off. He just thought it was nice and peaceful and he liked having her close.

"You can make it this morning if you want," Natasha answers. She doesn't mind making the coffee, but she won't turn down having a few more minutes to putter around before she gets going. The bedroom window is letting in a good amount of early morning sun, a pale gold light filtering through the curtains.

Her head tips so she can look up at him and she smiles as she reaches up to trace her index finger along the line of his jaw. "I was just teasing you. I usually wake up when someone else is up. I'm impressed you didn't wake me." Patting her hand against his shoulder, she shifts into a seated position and looks back over her shoulder at him. "One of those suitcases out in the living room has clothes for you. We should go for a walk today and see what's nearby."

He leans in to give her a kiss on the lips before moving to get up out of the bed and start the coffee. He wanders back in once the pot is on and leans against the doorframe smiling at her setting up in bed. God she's too beautiful for words.

"Glad you got me clothes though, I'm starting to think I'm living in these sweat pants since I didn't really plan on having anything to sleep in," he explains. He'd just slept in underwear or naked before she showed up, but that didn't feel right anymore not when they were sharing a bed and still figuring things out.

"Walk sounds nice, it's France, we should find a bakery with some fresh bread," he adds. "Maybe some preserves or something to put on it, might be a nice breakfast."

Natasha skims through her phone and answers some texts while he's in the other room. Mostly from Steve. Who is doing an impressive job of managing his desire to follow them around and help out. When he comes back in, she tips her head to look over at him with a smile.

"We might have to burn those sweatpants. You should take a look through everything before we head out to make sure everything you need is there." A brow arches. "I did get you a new leather jacket."

Setting her phone down on the bed, she slides off so she can cross the room. One of her hands rests on his chest and she looks at him seriously, even though there's a hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth. "That's the best idea you've ever had."

Bucky warps an arm around her waist when she gets close to him and pull her in for a soft kiss, apparently not worried about morning breath because he's just that stupidly gone on her anyways. They fall into all the old habits easy with everything except for sex. All they'd done is some kissing at this point, but still it felt like forever and his thoughts that were coming back were only moments away.

"You wanna burn my sweatpants because you're trying to get me naked, aren't you?" he teases against her lips before his hand slides down lower and gives her ass a squeeze before backing up so he can head to the kitchen to take care of the coffee that should be almost finished brewing.

"Yes, I'll go through them before we head out, promise," he says teasingly, like they he would do anything else. He's appreciative of her, and all she's done for him.

"Did Steve check back in with you?" he asks as he pours the coffee.

They've seen each other at their worst. What's a little morning breath? Her hand slides from his chest up to his shoulder and down along his arm, her mouth curling into a smirk as he teases her. "If I wanted you naked, you'd know." It's an undeniably flirtatious comment, but she's not in a rush. They'll get wherever they're going on a timeline he's comfortable with. "I'll be out in a second."

She takes a detour to the bathroom and then joins him in the kitchen a few minutes later and takes a seat at the kitchen counter. "He's been checking in with me. You can read the texts if you want."

"Is that a promise?" he asks about the naked comics before pouring two coffees and getting the cream and sugar just right because he'd paid attention to what Nat had done on the previous days, handing hers over when she sits at the table. He leans against the counter and holds his cup in both hands the metal one absorbing most of the heat, as he's learned to do sometime because it feels nice in the minimal sensation he has in it.

"I don't mind just the high level points, I was mostly just curious because I had a memory of me 'n him come back last night," He says with a smirk, like it's a good one and he's waiting for her to ask about it.

Natasha answers his question with a wink. Which does absolutely nothing to actually answer the question, but does let them continue to feel their way around the kind of flirting they're both comfortable with. When she rejoins him, she murmurs a thanks and pulls the mug of coffee towards her, just enjoying the smell of it as it wafts in the room.

"Did you?" she asks, interested. She watches him over the rim of the mug as she takes a careful sip so she won't burn her tongue. It tastes good. "What was it? The high level points are that he's adjusting. I have him chasing a fake trail from Romania to Bulgaria in case anyone's following him to look for you."

He takes a long sip of coffee looking at her careful as he listens about Steve. "Yeah that's a smart idea, no one will be looking for you instead they'll be following Captain Red White and blue around."

She's smart, but he already knew that. Like he said on the first day back together he would trust her with his life, and he does every moment they're together.

"Oh well you know, we were at the amusement parks and I spent all my money tryin' to win a stuffed animal for a red heads I thought was really cute or something like that, I just remembered Steve telling me I always had a thing for red heads," and he's got the dumbest smile on his face. "Looks like I was just lookin' for them in the wrong decade was all, til I found my girl."

It's an easy play, and one that they've used to their advantage before. It's second only to to using his shield as a launch pad so he can literally throw her at an enemy. "Well, if you're going to run around with a target on your back, might as well make it literal," Natasha answers with a smirk that suggests she's said something similar to Steve himself.

As he talks, she sets her mug down and leans in to the counter so she can listen. An amused look crosses her face. "I teased you about having a thing for red heads once," she reflects. "I knew I was right. You want to try and win me a stuffed animal?"

He laughs at that and sets his coffee cup down and pulls her into his arms so he and press a kiss to the top of her head. "Yeah well, you're right about everything clearly, we've figure this out already...." he teases her back not letting go for a good few moments just being fond and dumb.

When he lets go he grabs his coffee again. "So, future carnival on the list of things to do," he says, "But today is for me to check out the clothes, get ready and go for a walk with a cutie in France. I'd make a joke that my life has kinda sucked but honestly, today sounds like a pretty damn good day."

"Glad you've accepted it so easily," Natasha answers, her hands running up along his arms as he pulls her in. One arm runs along his upper back to curl around him, giving him a quick squeeze before he lets her go.

She leans back against the counter as he takes his coffee up again. "You've got a long road ahead of you. It's good to be able to take some time to rest." And now he's got her to watch his back so he actually can give himself some time here and there. Her head tips toward the living room. "Let's see how you look in something. I can wolf whistle at you to start your pretty damn good day."

"Alright let me go shower first, my hair is getting oily," he complains and brushes his hair back out of his face. "Do you think maybe I should cut it? Pick me out some outfits to try out when I get out."

He's been thinking it might make life easier and he shrugs and takes another sip of coffee before setting it down and giving her hip a pat. Even showering before Natasha had showed up had been something of an anxiety, would someone show up, it was a moment of weakness like sleeping, but this time he took his time in the shower and came out after in just his underwear and his hair wrapped up in a towel grinning at her.

"Heya beautiful, heard you were lookin' for a cute boyfriend to dress up."

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