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I don't know that I'll ever go for recreation. The last time I went it got really...violent.

[It's a mild way of putting it.]

So I'll have to leave that one up to you.

[She's not going to tell her no, but Darcy should at least make an informed decision on what she gets involved in. She can't help but smile a little when she references the Wanda situation.]

Fury works in mysterious ways. Or to be accurate, he likes to have a well rounded ground team and away team. He'll send for you if he needs you up there.

[workingtheory]

I'm sorry, I didn't know. [ Darcy says genuinely. She hadn't known, truly. ]

Well, I hope he does. I hear there's a cat.

[ And if Darcy knows about a cat, she certainly wants to meet it. It's her fatal flaw: wanting to pet all the cats. ]

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You don't need to be sorry. That's the job. [That's the life, really. She signed up for it. Could've defected for real after the Red Room, but she never saw much point in retirement. If she's going to have these skills, she's damn well going to go some good with them.]

Technically it's a flerken.

[She sounds amused when she says it.] Cat on the outside, cosmic horror on the inside. So...yeah, just a cat.

[workingtheory]

A flerken? Sounds like the most perfect and wonderful little kitty cat. I can't wait for space shenanigans.

[ Hopefully her visit to space will be calm and full of data. Just cool and calm and science-y. ]

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Oh, you're going to fit right in up there. All you science types.

[A little bit mad. A little bit brilliant. To be fair, she's pretty sure you could say the same about the more...espionage or action oriented part of the organization. Only sometimes they replaced their brilliance with pure bullheaded determination.]

[workingtheory]

I might never come back, if we're honest.

[ Now she just needs to convince Fury that she deserves to be up there too. That's probably the hardest part. ]

Okay so. If you were looking for a date or possibly two, what would you look for?

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They will trick you into a ground mission if they have to.

[She sounds amused as she says it. She's well familiar with the concept of 'okay, you're taking a break now whether you like it or not.'

Her question about what she looks for in a date is met with a thoughtful hum as she sips her beer.]

Flexibility and independence are pretty important, given how often I'm away for work. And I like when someone can handle themselves in a fight. I've been known to get caught up in the odd shit storm.

[workingtheory]

How rude.

[ Darcy listen to Natasha as she describes her perfect date and then cocks her head to the side. ]

So that describes a lot of your teammates. One blonde in particular...

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Which one?

[She makes the joke dryly, a half smile at her lips. She knows which one. But there's a lot of layers there. A lot of history.]

It's complicated.

[workingtheory]

Why not both? OR! All three.

[ Clint, Steve and Thor all seem like the type of guy that Natasha just described, but who knows. Maybe there's something more to it. ]

Or you could just settle for me.

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I think the idea of a harem is better in theory. Imagine how much money I'd spend keeping the three of them fed?

[A super soldier, a god from space, and a guy that drinks enough coffee to fill a lake? She'd have to go back to freelance.]

There's no settling for you, Darcy. You know you're a catch.

[workingtheory]

They're grown men, they can buy their own food.

[ Darcy is very confident that at least one of them knows how to buy groceries, but she may be over estimating them. ]

My tinder dates would suggest otherwise.

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Isn't having all your needs met one of the perks of being in a harem?

[Not that it's a viable solution regardless. For...many, many reasons.]

I think my opinion carries a bit more weight than the three class acts you met earlier.

[workingtheory]

I guess that's true. I mean, what can you expect with tinder, though? Maybe you'll b e willing to share one of your beefy blonde men?

[ Any of them will do, honestly. ]

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I'd say you should get on Raya, but from what I hear that's mostly just Australian DJs and "photographers."

[She adds air quotes around the word photographers that make it pretty clear the whole idea is a bit...shady.]

Hey, I've apparently got beefy blonds to spare.

[workingtheory]

[ Darcy picks up her phone again and makes a face. ] One of your guys sent me a dick pic. I give up.

[ She motions to the bartender for another drink and slumps down on the bar top. ]

You think any of those beefy blonds would be interested? Not Thor, but the other two? I might actually like getting dick pics from them.

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Maybe you should switch to Bumble.

[There really are an endless number of dating app options. At least with Bumble the likelihood of surprise dick pics is...reduced.

Her mouth twitches into a little smile as she watches Darcy slump on the bar.] Can you do two green tea shots for us too, actually? Thanks.

[She's pretty sure beer's not going to cut it to chase that disappointment.] I'm not going to stop you. If you can convince Steve to send you a picture of his dick without him burning alive from embarrassment, you might deserve a gold medal.

[workingtheory]

I can be pretty convincing...

[ Darcy's not actually sure that Steve is interested in her, but she's perfectly willing to find out. ]

Do you have his number? That's a funner game than this tinder shit.

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I do, but you have to cut him a break if he texts you just "Darcy." with a period at the end. Once I get Natasha-ed, I know I've gone too far.

[She pulls out her phone and starts up a group text with the three of them. In it, she types: ] Steve, Darcy and I are out having a drink. She's going to flirt with you. Relax, neither of us will be able to see how red you turn.

[There's an amused look on her face as she sets her phone down.] Please take me out of the thread before you get talking about dicks.

[workingtheory]

Okay but what happens if I succeed? I mean, hopefully it means I get a big blonde beefcake of my own, but what else?

[ She picks up her phone and sees that Natasha has started a group message with her and Steve, and well, maybe he'll actually like her. Or turn her down flat. She'll have to see. ]

Hi! I promise that I will do my very best to secretly turn you red. But no one actually needs to know.

[ Dutifully, Darcy removes Natasha from the thread, just in case she forgets. ]

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I don't think you need me to draw you a diagram of all the things you can do with a big blond beefcake of your own. [There's a hint of a smirk at the corner of her mouth as she says it.]

They are very keen on moving furniture though. So it's nice to get them involved in that even if you have it covered.

[workingtheory]

But I would appreciate some pointers, [ Darcy responds with a grin. She sends a message to Steve and then sends another, asking for help moving furniture on the weekend. ]

So how long is this bet good for?

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Well, I imagine there's some variation in preference from beefcake to beefcake. And I can only guess at them for two of three.

[Natasha considers the bet question.] 24 hours seems fair.

[workingtheory]

I will get that dick pic within twenty four hours. I've broken even more stubborn men in the past.

[ She makes a contemplative face and adds, ] what if I get him to sleep with me? Wait, I don't want that to be part of the bet. I want it to happen naturally.

[brushpass]

You might want to consider breaking the dick pic bet while you're at it, because I think he would be genuinely crushed if he thought it was just for a bet.

And then conflicted about feeling crushed.

[Darcy stood a pretty good chance, actually. Steve might be the original definition of 'old fashioned,' but he was also mischievous enough to enjoy her shaking up the routine.]