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[brushpass]

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[kalashnikov]

slightly better than the one time hawkeye jr taped an orange to the wall. i still don't know why she was laughing so much.

[brushpass]

I can't decide if this is brilliant art commentary or Gen Z shitposting.
Maybe both?
Were you making a face that would have prompted that kind of laughter?

[kalashnikov]

i was making my usual face.

( Like so :| :| :| :| )

i need to figure out how to drive her just as crazy. you think if i dab she'll look like she's seen a ghost?

[brushpass]

Honestly I think if you just smiled at her she'd look like she'd seen a ghost.
If you dab at her she's going to fall over.
Don't dab unless I'm there to also witness it.

[She promises she won't record it.

Okay, fine, she promises she won't show the recording to anyone else.

Maybe just Steve. And Sam. And Yelena.

Maybe she shouldn't make any promises.]

[kalashnikov]

and give you blackmail material? i'm old, not stupid.

[brushpass]

Hey, it only seems fair now that you have my hangover picture.
Mutually assured destruction.
I'm willing to let you confiscate my phone.

[Not that that would actually stop her.]

[kalashnikov]

sure, because it's your phone i have to worry about.
if it ends up on tiktok i'm replacing all your vodka with water.

[brushpass]

Are you implying that I would somehow set up security cameras in advance to make sure I get a good angle on your dabbing debut?
I'm weirdly flattered.
I'll behave.

[Mostly.]

Don't touch my vodka.

[kalashnikov]

ooc: sorry this is so late, the flu got me :c

it's what I'd do.

( He knows her style. )

i'll make you a deal. i'll let you be there, then every time she forgets it happened or we've successfully gaslit her into thinking it didn't you get to cryptically mention it.

[brushpass]

(ooc: no worries! i hope you feel better. <3)

Good thing I'd never tell you in advance.

[Does this mean she's now planning to also do something ridiculous when he least expects it? Maybe.]

Wow, this is even better than taking a picture.
What did I do to get on your good side?

[kalashnikov]

ooc: getting there, ty! ♥

maybe i'm feeling magnanimous.

or maybe i'm just real fed up with being made to feel ancient by the youth, who knows.

[brushpass]

If it makes you feel better, the youth think everyone above 29 is ancient.
I was babysitting Clint's kids when they were younger and when I told them I was born in the eighties they asked me what it was like living without electricity.

[kalashnikov]

ha!
jesus, the passage of time. sam keeps getting worked up over the fact i know what tumblr is.

[brushpass]

Do you have a secret tumblr?
Be honest.

[kalashnikov]

sure i do.
i use it to reblog really bad pictures of steve. it brings me joy.

[brushpass]

You're fucking with me.
I'm going to start a "weird shit said by your local centenarians" blog.

[kalashnikov]

if that's what you choose to believe, but it's a pretty popular blog.
i have a mortal nemesis on it, some kid who thinks i'm "bullying captain america".

[brushpass]

Honestly the fact that you have a tumblr mortal nemesis makes me actually believe this.
You know it's probably the spiderkid, right?

[kalashnikov]

fuck, parker???
god now you've said it i can see it.

[brushpass]

He has zero chill.
Just casually quote something said to you on there in conversation and you'll be able to tell immediately if it's him.

[kalashnikov]

i'll get a tshirt with the goofiest shot of rogers i can and then wear it in front of him.

[brushpass]

You're going to be able to watch him wrestle with what he wants to say in real time.

[kalashnikov]

maybe his face'll do the human equivalent of a keysmash.

( He's so internet savvy. Mostly because he's a giant nerd but nobody needs to know that. )

[brushpass]

[On the other hand, Bucky Barnes: secret nerd might be the best slowly dawning realization of the year.]

Who taught you how to keysmash, Barnes?

[kalashnikov]

my source prefers to remain anonymous.

also, you pick stuff up on the internet.