[ Dating is actually so difficult. Sometimes she kind of wishes she was like Jane and some Asgardian mega hunk would just fall from the sky and fall in love with her. ]
You ever tried a speed dating event? I went to one once while I was undercover. It can be fun depending on the mix of people there. And how good the host is.
[And it can also be really, really sad. Much like dating in general, it's a real gamble.]
I haven't. Should we see if one is happening anywhere nearby? It might be fun.
[ Darcy's not desperate for a relationship. She's happy enough on her own, so if nothing pans out, it's fine. She can always hook up if she feels the need. ]
[Natasha switches over to her phone and pulls up a search, using her thumb to scroll down the page. She gives her head a shake.] Only one tonight is 60+. And I don't think either of us could pass for 60 without getting seriously into the stage effect makeup. Anyone reply on tinder?
Are you saying that you don't want to do an elder makeup and try to find us some over sixties? [ Darcy actually thinks that it would be a blast.
She pulls out her phone and check. ]
Yeah so I got three dick pics and one person asking what my favourite scary movie is. Oh, here's a girl asking about my cat! And she's not talking about my pussy. Wow.
I'm dead certain that ends with us getting arrested. [Natasha's not sure why, but she's learned enough over the years to trust her gut. Even if she's smiling a little as she says it. She's not strictly opposed to being arrested, but she is confident she'll never heard the end of it when someone on the team inevitable turns up the arrest reports.]
The main problem with dick pics is that they're never dicks you want to see. [Like opening up a hairy jump scare. She leans in to look at the message.] Cute. And she passes test number one.
[ Darcy hasn't ever been arrested before, unless having their equipment seized by SHIELD counts, so she's not sure if that's something she wants to try. ]
Maybe next time, then. And yeah. I don't mind a dick pic from someone I'm sexting with, or from like, Thor, but I don't need some random nasty dick on my phone.
[ Darcy passes her phone back to Natasha. ] What's the next test?
He sent us all weirdly angled pictures of Mjolnir for a while after he learned what dick pics were. [There's a twitch of a smile at her lips, amusement in her voice. Honestly, preferable to the average dick pic.
Natasha hands the phone right back to Darcy.] Flirty chat. Make sure she thinks your brain is hot.
[ Of course Darcy wants to talk to someone who's actually gone to space, but she's a little intimidated by people that she perceives as being smarter than she is. ]
I don't know that I'll ever go for recreation. The last time I went it got really...violent.
[It's a mild way of putting it.]
So I'll have to leave that one up to you.
[She's not going to tell her no, but Darcy should at least make an informed decision on what she gets involved in. She can't help but smile a little when she references the Wanda situation.]
Fury works in mysterious ways. Or to be accurate, he likes to have a well rounded ground team and away team. He'll send for you if he needs you up there.
You don't need to be sorry. That's the job. [That's the life, really. She signed up for it. Could've defected for real after the Red Room, but she never saw much point in retirement. If she's going to have these skills, she's damn well going to go some good with them.]
Technically it's a flerken.
[She sounds amused when she says it.] Cat on the outside, cosmic horror on the inside. So...yeah, just a cat.
Oh, you're going to fit right in up there. All you science types.
[A little bit mad. A little bit brilliant. To be fair, she's pretty sure you could say the same about the more...espionage or action oriented part of the organization. Only sometimes they replaced their brilliance with pure bullheaded determination.]
They will trick you into a ground mission if they have to.
[She sounds amused as she says it. She's well familiar with the concept of 'okay, you're taking a break now whether you like it or not.'
Her question about what she looks for in a date is met with a thoughtful hum as she sips her beer.]
Flexibility and independence are pretty important, given how often I'm away for work. And I like when someone can handle themselves in a fight. I've been known to get caught up in the odd shit storm.
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[Natasha's glad to hear at least that Darcy has no plans to hide who she really is. The right people will be into it.]
Oh, pretty easy. They just have to reply back to the first message I sent with something normal.
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[ Darcy shrugs. She's over it. She's not about to pretend she's not an astrophysicist. They'd find out anyway. ]
So not something about waifus or moving in right away?
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[Truly, the dating scene is abysmal.]
The bar is on the ground, isn't it?
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[ Dating is actually so difficult. Sometimes she kind of wishes she was like Jane and some Asgardian mega hunk would just fall from the sky and fall in love with her. ]
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[And it can also be really, really sad. Much like dating in general, it's a real gamble.]
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[ Darcy's not desperate for a relationship. She's happy enough on her own, so if nothing pans out, it's fine. She can always hook up if she feels the need. ]
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She pulls out her phone and check. ]
Yeah so I got three dick pics and one person asking what my favourite scary movie is. Oh, here's a girl asking about my cat! And she's not talking about my pussy. Wow.
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The main problem with dick pics is that they're never dicks you want to see. [Like opening up a hairy jump scare. She leans in to look at the message.] Cute. And she passes test number one.
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Maybe next time, then. And yeah. I don't mind a dick pic from someone I'm sexting with, or from like, Thor, but I don't need some random nasty dick on my phone.
[ Darcy passes her phone back to Natasha. ] What's the next test?
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Natasha hands the phone right back to Darcy.] Flirty chat. Make sure she thinks your brain is hot.
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[ Darcy takes her phone back and glances at the messages. ]
I mean, my brain is the hottest part about me, so she'd better think so.
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[Leaning back in her bar stool a bit, she takes another sip of her beer as she looks around the bar.]
Maybe we should start hanging around in bars Houston so we can set you up with an astronaut.
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[ Of course Darcy wants to talk to someone who's actually gone to space, but she's a little intimidated by people that she perceives as being smarter than she is. ]
Have you ever been to space?
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[She grins as she says it. Natasha's been around enough NASA types over the years to know that they'd be in to Darcy.
She inclines her head in agreement when she asks if she's been to space.]
Yeah. It was...weird. Pretty. But weird.
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[ She asks it like she's asking for a ride to the grocery store, like it's not big deal. Like it's not SPACE. ]
I thought for sure they'd station me at the space station after I helped out with the Wanda situation but...
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[It's a mild way of putting it.]
So I'll have to leave that one up to you.
[She's not going to tell her no, but Darcy should at least make an informed decision on what she gets involved in. She can't help but smile a little when she references the Wanda situation.]
Fury works in mysterious ways. Or to be accurate, he likes to have a well rounded ground team and away team. He'll send for you if he needs you up there.
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Well, I hope he does. I hear there's a cat.
[ And if Darcy knows about a cat, she certainly wants to meet it. It's her fatal flaw: wanting to pet all the cats. ]
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Technically it's a flerken.
[She sounds amused when she says it.] Cat on the outside, cosmic horror on the inside. So...yeah, just a cat.
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[ Hopefully her visit to space will be calm and full of data. Just cool and calm and science-y. ]
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[A little bit mad. A little bit brilliant. To be fair, she's pretty sure you could say the same about the more...espionage or action oriented part of the organization. Only sometimes they replaced their brilliance with pure bullheaded determination.]
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[ Now she just needs to convince Fury that she deserves to be up there too. That's probably the hardest part. ]
Okay so. If you were looking for a date or possibly two, what would you look for?
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[She sounds amused as she says it. She's well familiar with the concept of 'okay, you're taking a break now whether you like it or not.'
Her question about what she looks for in a date is met with a thoughtful hum as she sips her beer.]
Flexibility and independence are pretty important, given how often I'm away for work. And I like when someone can handle themselves in a fight. I've been known to get caught up in the odd shit storm.
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[ Darcy listen to Natasha as she describes her perfect date and then cocks her head to the side. ]
So that describes a lot of your teammates. One blonde in particular...
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[She makes the joke dryly, a half smile at her lips. She knows which one. But there's a lot of layers there. A lot of history.]
It's complicated.
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