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[brushpass]

Texts, threads, overflow, etc.

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<3

[kalashnikov]

how badly will you kick my ass if i save that? i think it'd cheer me up the next time my life goes to shit.

( It's cute! )

[brushpass]

Well I guess that depends on how well you bribe me to not kick your ass if you save it.

[She wouldn't really. But she can pretend.]

[kalashnikov]

pizza of the non-ancient variety?

[brushpass]

That's a stellar opening bid.
Make sure it's stuffed crust and you have a deal.

[kalashnikov]

you drive a hard bargain, romanoff. but deal.

the friend gonna give you any trouble? or was it a social visit?

[brushpass]

Go big or go home, right? And I'm already at home so that really only left me with one option.
More of an anti-social visit than anything else. I packed the friend off on a bus late last night.

[kalashnikov]

better a bus than the alternative.

[brushpass]

Under a bus?

[kalashnikov]

i was thinking shallow grave but that's six of one.

[brushpass]

Under the bus is the last stop before the shallow grave.
Thankfully the hangover is a bit of an easier problem to solve.

[Slightly less bloody too.

Slightly.]

[kalashnikov]

you'll get there. nothing that greasy food can't fix.

[brushpass]

If only that were true of more life problems.

[kalashnikov]

i stick to the main 3.

1. greasy food.
2. booze.
3. the practical application of violence.

[brushpass]

I feel like you're really missing out on the possibilities of impractical applications of violence.

[kalashnikov]

trying not to upset my therapist, you know how it is.

[brushpass]

Unfortunately yes.

[She does not miss her SHIELD mandated therapy sessions after defecting.]

But I did mean something more like paintball.
Or sparring with your favorite red head.

[kalashnikov]

you gonna blame me for breaking the wall again?

[brushpass]

Depends, are you going to break the wall again?

[kalashnikov]

... maybe.

[brushpass]

I'm going to order a giant picture frame to put around the hole and make a card that says 'impractical violence and other valid therapeutic techniques.' - B Barnes, c. 1912

[Sorry, Bucky. She thinks she's hilarious.]

[kalashnikov]

slightly better than the one time hawkeye jr taped an orange to the wall. i still don't know why she was laughing so much.

[brushpass]

I can't decide if this is brilliant art commentary or Gen Z shitposting.
Maybe both?
Were you making a face that would have prompted that kind of laughter?

[kalashnikov]

i was making my usual face.

( Like so :| :| :| :| )

i need to figure out how to drive her just as crazy. you think if i dab she'll look like she's seen a ghost?

[brushpass]

Honestly I think if you just smiled at her she'd look like she'd seen a ghost.
If you dab at her she's going to fall over.
Don't dab unless I'm there to also witness it.

[She promises she won't record it.

Okay, fine, she promises she won't show the recording to anyone else.

Maybe just Steve. And Sam. And Yelena.

Maybe she shouldn't make any promises.]

[kalashnikov]

and give you blackmail material? i'm old, not stupid.