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[workingtheory]

Hi! [ Darcy greets. She passes Natasha her beer and shrugs. ]

I haven't actually looked yet, but here's my phone. Tinder away.

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[Natasha thanks her for the beer, lifts it in a salute and takes a sip. She slides into the stool next to her and takes the phone with a grin as she opens up the dating app.]

This is a lot of trust to put in me. I might start making potential dates jump through hoops.

[workingtheory]

At this point, they should be put through hoops. Do you know how hard it is to actually get a good date? Let alone a good second date.

[ Darcy hasn’t had many of those. And if she gets a second date, third dates are even more rare. She’s tired of looking, tired of people liking her looks but not her personality. It’s exhausting.

She takes another shot of tequila. ]

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Can't say I usually look for a second date.

[Or a first one. For better or worse, Natasha tends to keep things casual. Her day to day life comes with too much shit for her to put it on someone else.

She considers the profile of someone that's popped up on Tinder.] So what kind of hoops are we thinking? On fire or just high off the ground?

[workingtheory]

Honestly, I've pretty much given up too. It's whatever.

[ She looks over Natasha's shoulder to see what she's looking at and shrugs. ]

As many hoops as possible. They need to meet your standards before they get to me.

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[Natasha smirks as she idly swipes through a few people, dismissing or approving based on her first impression of their pictures and bios.]

I could probably just make uncomfortably long eye contact and say "I know what you did."

[It's a surprisingly effective tactic.]

[workingtheory]

You'd have them confessing to things they didn't even do, [ Darcy laughs. ] You seeing anyone good?

[ Probably not. It is Tinder after all. ]

You sure you don't just have a friend you can hook me up with? I promise I can be less annoying.

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Hey, that's on them. [She glances over at Darcy with a smirk, then lifts a shoulder in response to her question.] Fair to decent. We'll see if they pass the first test.

[With that, she slides the phone back over to Darcy.] You're not annoying. But you know pretty much all my friends. The only ones you don't know are...shifty and Russian.

[workingtheory]

A different friend has told me that men often don't like when women are smart, and it's not like I'm gonna hide that.

[ She takes her phone back and slides it into her pocket since she doesn't need to look at it just yet.]

What's the first test?

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Wow. I'm sorry for the way your friend was treated if they think that's true.

[Natasha's glad to hear at least that Darcy has no plans to hide who she really is. The right people will be into it.]

Oh, pretty easy. They just have to reply back to the first message I sent with something normal.

[workingtheory]

It's not about how they were treated, it's about how they've seen me treated.

[ Darcy shrugs. She's over it. She's not about to pretend she's not an astrophysicist. They'd find out anyway. ]

So not something about waifus or moving in right away?

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Not really a better option.

[Truly, the dating scene is abysmal.]

The bar is on the ground, isn't it?

[workingtheory]

It really, really is.

[ Dating is actually so difficult. Sometimes she kind of wishes she was like Jane and some Asgardian mega hunk would just fall from the sky and fall in love with her. ]

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You ever tried a speed dating event? I went to one once while I was undercover. It can be fun depending on the mix of people there. And how good the host is.

[And it can also be really, really sad. Much like dating in general, it's a real gamble.]

[workingtheory]

I haven't. Should we see if one is happening anywhere nearby? It might be fun.

[ Darcy's not desperate for a relationship. She's happy enough on her own, so if nothing pans out, it's fine. She can always hook up if she feels the need. ]

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[Natasha switches over to her phone and pulls up a search, using her thumb to scroll down the page. She gives her head a shake.] Only one tonight is 60+. And I don't think either of us could pass for 60 without getting seriously into the stage effect makeup. Anyone reply on tinder?

[workingtheory]

Are you saying that you don't want to do an elder makeup and try to find us some over sixties? [ Darcy actually thinks that it would be a blast.

She pulls out her phone and check. ]

Yeah so I got three dick pics and one person asking what my favourite scary movie is. Oh, here's a girl asking about my cat! And she's not talking about my pussy. Wow.

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I'm dead certain that ends with us getting arrested. [Natasha's not sure why, but she's learned enough over the years to trust her gut. Even if she's smiling a little as she says it. She's not strictly opposed to being arrested, but she is confident she'll never heard the end of it when someone on the team inevitable turns up the arrest reports.]

The main problem with dick pics is that they're never dicks you want to see. [Like opening up a hairy jump scare. She leans in to look at the message.] Cute. And she passes test number one.

[workingtheory]

[ Darcy hasn't ever been arrested before, unless having their equipment seized by SHIELD counts, so she's not sure if that's something she wants to try. ]

Maybe next time, then. And yeah. I don't mind a dick pic from someone I'm sexting with, or from like, Thor, but I don't need some random nasty dick on my phone.

[ Darcy passes her phone back to Natasha. ] What's the next test?

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He sent us all weirdly angled pictures of Mjolnir for a while after he learned what dick pics were. [There's a twitch of a smile at her lips, amusement in her voice. Honestly, preferable to the average dick pic.

Natasha hands the phone right back to Darcy.] Flirty chat. Make sure she thinks your brain is hot.

[workingtheory]

You're welcome for that, by the way. He really embraced the joyful side of a dick pic.

[ Darcy takes her phone back and glances at the messages. ]

I mean, my brain is the hottest part about me, so she'd better think so.

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Oh, was that you? Good work. I'm sure Jane's grateful too.

[Leaning back in her bar stool a bit, she takes another sip of her beer as she looks around the bar.]

Maybe we should start hanging around in bars Houston so we can set you up with an astronaut.

[workingtheory]

Do you really think I can snag an astronaut?

[ Of course Darcy wants to talk to someone who's actually gone to space, but she's a little intimidated by people that she perceives as being smarter than she is. ]

Have you ever been to space?

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Absolutely. You can talk nerdy to them.

[She grins as she says it. Natasha's been around enough NASA types over the years to know that they'd be in to Darcy.

She inclines her head in agreement when she asks if she's been to space.]

Yeah. It was...weird. Pretty. But weird.

[workingtheory]

That's so wild. Can you take me next time?

[ She asks it like she's asking for a ride to the grocery store, like it's not big deal. Like it's not SPACE. ]

I thought for sure they'd station me at the space station after I helped out with the Wanda situation but...